As you may know, I am a former computer expert who has moved into alien studies and I am now dipping a toe—a very amateur toe—into genetic engineering. Specifically, I am working on a new (pricklier) type of squid. We in the field call this transgenic animaling.

It’s not as fun as it sounds. You’re basically just staring at a microwave for many, many hours.

But why move away from the promising field of computer studies? Especially now that multiple computers can be compressed into a single disk? The catalyst, for me, was the discovery of two cassette tapes that I will now introduce to you.

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You see, there is a RED CASSETTE TAPE and a WHITE CASSETTE TAPE.

The RED CASSETTE TAPE is reported to contain instructions in an alien language. There are actually two officially recognized ways of listening to it.

The WHITE CASSETTE TAPE is a much longer record of information obtained by extraterrestrials, recorded in the voice of CHIEF MASTER SARGEANT TAMARA CARD of the 33rd Fighter Wing, Eglin Air Force Base, Florida. Her account was transcribed in a reference book entitled NINETY-FIVE WATERSHED ALIEN DEVELOPMENTS OF THE MODERN AGE BY DARRELL KNIGHT.

I knew Darrell during former times—we both happened to be gifted computer experts at the same time. The man was a veteran, I kept contact with him after his stroke and I spent many evenings visiting him in his room on the upper floor of the Dalesworth Veterans Administration Hospital. I never saw him use a television, but he continued to use a computer. He bought and sold rare fountain pens on eBay. In fact, this convinced me to resume using a computer for casual purposes to this day.

This WHITE CASSETTE TAPE is a human record of alien knowledge up to and including the year 2006. One of the predictions of the tape is that there will be a massive rift in human society as a result of alien knowledge becoming widely available. This rift was scheduled to occur in 2006 and I maintain that it DID IN FACT HAPPEN—however, not until the following year, in 2007. The RED CASSETTE TAPE should one day corroborate this.

I am not just talking about political or social upheavals. Or a mere rift down cultural lines. I am talking about an alteration in the fabric of human knowledge. I realize this sounds pretty vague and improbable—but try to have some respect for the years I’ve put into this—the way I describe it is: what if previously synonymous words realigned themselves with new words, but you were unaware of the change? I’m sorry, but that’s the best I can do with those words that are still somewhat functioning.

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The WHITE AND RED CASSETTE TAPES contain another prediction which relates to the Revelations of Saint John, the final book of the Bible. This prediction states that the Revelations of Saint John are incorrect in some predictions, specifically with regard to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The count is wrong; the correct number of horsemen is two. Darrell—again, Darrell the veteran and former computer expert—both of us could run circles around EVERYONE when it came time to interface with faxmodems—Darrell verified to me that the correct number is two. But he also emphasized that these Revelations are constructs of a collapsed reality and that there are no horsemen any longer, for they are lost in another failed reality.

I liked the idea of four horsemen. For some reasons, I liked two even better. So I’m reluctant to go with the idea of none. I’d like to hear it from THE RED CASSETTE TAPE before I back out.

I have said that there are two ways of listening to the red cassette tape. The first is to play it on a standard tape recorder and it can be understood if you are versed in alien tongues. To me it sounds like nothing. I am unable to hear it myself yet. THIS IS WHY I SAY “REPORTED TO CONTAIN ALIEN LANGUAGE” BECAUSE I CANNOT TELL FOR MYSELF. But Darrell could hear it, along with Patty Schlater—a woman who works in the kitchen stiff at the VA hospital—she can sometimes hear it, but not translate it.

The second way of listening to it is by placing it in a holographic video unit. Sgt. Tamara Card describes the curious workings of one of these units. She places its location at a multimedia library inside the testing facility at Groom Lake. Since the cassette tape is damaged, it is not known how much holographic video information is stored on the tape, but it is alleged to contain very important footage of world events. It shows the crucifixion of Christ: MEANING IT SHOWS THE CRUCIFIXION OF CHRIST IN HOLOGRAPHIC 3-D. It is possible that there are individuals out there who have come across holographic video units and this is why I am beginning with a discussion of the red cassette tape. If you are in possession of one of these units, I urge you to contact me.

Now, it is tiring to tell this story. If you are reading, then you certainly don’t believe me and you likely won’t even attempt to be my friend. That’s okay—I believe it’s definitely up to me to make the initial move to be your friend. But I am having a difficult time doing that because two months ago I went to the VA hospital in the evening and was told to speak to Evonne, the woman who acts as the Executive Director of the hospital and who has the authority to take visitors on guided tours of the facility.

Because of the urgency of the request, I visited Evonne immediately and I was told by her that Darrell Knight had passed away at 6:25 AM that morning.

So, you see, my purpose in writing this is to try to preserve him in my backstory.